The Misadventures of William and Thora
by theshadedmistress
Summary: He's a wizard. She's a barbarian. He has intelligence, she has ferocity. And when they decide to travel together, William and Thora find themselves facing spiders, the lords of hell, and wait, purple unicorns? Yes, these are the misadventures of William and Thora. Rated T for some violence, language and mild suggestive themes.
1. Chapter 1: A Meeting of Brain and Brawn

Hello, all! This isn't really any work of mine that should be taken seriously, just a funny story based around me and my brother's two heroes, William the Wizard and Thora the Barbarian. This will be a mismatched collection of their different misadventures in the setting of Diablo III, but of course it will have the three followers and maybe even others mixed in as well. Now, I've wasted enough of your time. Have a coke and a smile!

Disclaimer: I do not own Diablo!

* * *

The Misadventures of William and Thora

Chapter 1: A Meeting of Brain and Brawn

"To hell with you all, then! Just you see – I will fulfill this prophecy, then you'll be tripping over your robes kneeling before me!" William cursed at the three mages who had unkindly escorted him out of the Yshari Sanctum. He then turned around and stormed off into the great city of Caldeum.

Yet William's anger subdued once he made distance between the Sanctum. The wizard sat on a bench and sighed. Tipping the brim of his wizard hat over his eyes, he thinks,

"Tch! The Masters sure don't appreciate those who show such natural talent with the arcane. But it's not as if I need their insight to start my quest. 'Wait for the sign from the skies', the book described. So for the time being..." He pulled out a pipe. "I will be sitting here, letting time pass."

Just as he placed the tip in his mouth, a bare-footed homeless man ran up and snatched the pipe.

"Heh heh heh, mine mine mine!" The man laughed maniacally as he ran, but only got a few feet away before getting zapped by a stream of lightning and falling on his face. With magic, William pulled away the pipe before it broke, soon placing it back in his hand. He then magically set it alight.

* * *

After minutes passed with William just sitting and observing the activity around him – which wasn't too exciting besides two rats and a child fighting over half an apple – a noise broke out that snapped the wizard out of his daze.

A thud. Another thud. William realized these sounds were actually footsteps! And when he looked to their maker, he froze, eyes wide and mouth agape. The wizard was staring at a bulky, red-haired woman who must have been a nigh seven feet tall and covered shoulder to toe in armor.

"Vhat are you staring at?" Her accented voice spoke. William snapped awake from his bewilderment to give a slight bow,

"My apologies, ma'am. I was merely surprised that a woman of such... Vast height and bulk would come to Caldeum."

The woman laughed slightly, "Vell, it's not often a lone barbarian travels to the dessert from our cold homeland. I am trying to bring honor back to my people and find a foe vorthy of my blade."

"Oh! That surely explains much of your... Intimidating features." Exclaimed William, putting his pipe away and standing. But even standing the barbarian beat his height by a foot. Reminding himself not to get on this lady's bad side, he continued, "I too am searching for something, a sacred sign. William's the name."

"And I am Thora. Now, I must go and collect a bounty for these. Need provisions, yah?" Thora turned, revealing to William lacuni heads chained to her back.

The wizard stood thinking as he watched her go. "Hmm... A barbarian would undoubtedly be a welcome help if I were to face many enemies while fulfilling my destiny, and it seems she craves battle. So, I shall."

Thora had already made a good length between him, so William burst into a run. But even with his effort she trekked further away with huge strides. "Oh, forget this!" William teleported in front of Thora, making her stop. "A thought has just crossed my mind."

"And vhat is that thought, little man?"

"You I'm sure are yearning for the rush of battle, am I right? Well, once I catch glimpse of a sign from the skies, as I read from an enchanted book, it will turn me to the path of facing great evil. We could face this evil together. I have the smarts and magic, you have the strength and ferocity. What say you?"

Thora thought for a moment, then nodded, "Vhatever this magic book told you or not, if I have chance to make bloodshed for the honor and faith of the barbarians, I accept."

"Splendid! And I will promise to stay behind you as you make that bloodshed! Now, companions?"

"Companions."Thora grabbed William's shoulder and bashed her head against his. He fell to the ground.

"Ooww... Let us not do that again..."

* * *

It isn't a mistake that some of Thora's dialogue looks incorrect. I tried to imply a little bit of a Swedish accent in her dialogue among a few other things, for character. Er, hopefully I got some of it right? :/ (It was my brother's idea, blame him :P). Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2: Spider!

Now, the first draft of this chapter was mostly written by my brother! I merely edited it into this version. So if it seems a lot more humorous than the first, than it's probably because my brother did it. So, enjoy!

Chapter 2: Spider!

* * *

"Dark in here... Luckily you glow in the dark, though. No need for torch. Say Villiam, do you have any idea vhat's in this cave?"

"Nothing too much I suppose, if we haven't been attacked already!" William says, looking over his shoulder as he leads the way with an illumination spell. He continues, "Yet I do suspect some demons, specters and arachnids lurking about somewhere..."

"Arach-vhat?" Replies Thora, confused.

"Oh, just-" William halts his answer when he hears a large thud in front of him. The wizard turns from Thora to the discover the maker of the sound, illuminating a large-

"SPIDER!" Thora yells as she leaps over William onto the arachnid, repeatedly smashing it's thorax with her hammer. Each mighty blow splays the spider's insides on the ground, and William for that matter, and soon the only remnants of the insect are a few legs.

Seeing her foe vanquished, Thora steps back, chest heaving in her armor, and brushes the hair from her face.

"Was that truly necessary?" Inquires William as he shakes spider mung from his hat. Continuing to rid himself of the goop, he chuckles, "Of all the demons and undead we have encountered, it's the arachnids you fear. I admit I'm not comfortable around them either, but I've never seen you react so."

"You never asked, I never told. Just the same as you neglect to tell me of this cavern."

"Well, I wouldn't have assumed-" The wizard started, but jumps at a hissing noise from behind him, and with a rather womanly sounding scream flings himself into Thora's arms. William explodes the hissing being into a glorious display of blue and white light with a single lightning bolt, which reveals to the duo they have been surrounded by spiders!

Glancing around at the spiders in terror, Thora says "I thought it vas the _voman_ who are to jump into _men's_ arms."

"If that were to happen love, you'd crush me. Now... What say you we find an exit?"

"Good idea. Hold on."

"Wait, hold onto wha-haa!" William is suddenly thrown behind Thora's back, finding his place inside her treasure pack, only his head exposed as he sees they are being chased. He then pulled out his wand and conjured arcane missiles in an attempt to hinder the beasts for a clean escape. "Run Thora RUN!"

His companion nods as she begins to sprint, scream, and swing her hammer wildly, clearing a path for their retreat. "Die! Die! DIE DIE DIE!"

* * *

After a long time being chased around the winding caverns by a plethora of arachnids, smashing or zapping any that got in the way, William and Thora finally enter the main chamber. There, they found a woman stuck in a thick spider web. "It's horrible, she sucks the innards from her victims... Oh no, I hear her! The spider queen is coming!" She said.

Suddenly, a huge spider crawled up from behind them. William was able to melt some of her face with a disintegration beam before Thora turned around and took out the queen's front legs with one mighty swipe.

"To hell vith you!" The barbarian smashed her hammer against a rocky pillar, making it collapse onto the spider queen.

"S-she's dead, correct?" A small trembling voice asks.

"Yes," Thora said, out of breath. "Yes Villiam, she's dead. She fell surprisingly easy... But as long as she's dead, I don't care."

"Splendid!" The wizard hops out the pack sounding instantly chipper. His bravado return. "Come, let us free this poor soul!"

Thora simply smiles, patting William on the head and slightly crumpling his hat. "Yes, says the trembling pack dweller." She walked over to the woman, grabbed her ankles and freed her with a snap of the wrist, also dispersing the web. "Let us leave this vretched cave." Slinging the woman over her shoulder, Thora and William exit into daylight with sighs of relief.

* * *

Yes, I'm aware that you actually have to use a venom pool to free Karnya in the game, but I found this somewhat fitting. Not too logical, but funny nonetheless. Did this at least make you smile? Stay tuned for whatever other shenanigans I might conjure next!


	3. Chapter 3: The Enchantress

Chapter 3: The Enchantress

* * *

The sun beamed fiercely on William and Thora as they trekked upon the road leading from Caldeum Bazaar to the Sundered Canyon.

"By gods, I haven't felt the sun's heat this strong in years! How are you holding?" William commented, even he starting to take a toll from the sun's gaze.

"Sweating, but it vill not stop me." Thora simply replied.

Further down the beaten path, the two soon spot a figure faint from the distance. William eyes the figure quite curiously as they get closer, "Does the heat deceive me, or is that a... Beautiful, scantly-clad woman I see?"

He was right, and it was not a mirage. Standing before the two was a pale blond woman with merely a bra, skirt and boots on. She stared at Thora with a bewildered gaze. She kept staring until the barbarian spoke,

"Vhat is vith the odd gaze?"

The blond snapped out of it. "Oh! Oh, my apologies! I have just never seen or imagined a woman your size in my lifetime! It is merely curious!" She said. The woman became even more bewildered once she saw William's head poke out from behind Thora.

"Yes, that is the same thing I spoke when I first met her! But she's harmless to you as long as you don't get in her way."

"That is nice to know. Um... Now what was I going to say..." The woman paused for a long moment to think. Then it hit her. "Oh yes! I was going to warn you of cultists guarding these dessert roads, and that they will slay any who pass. But... You don't need that advice, don't you?"

Thora nodded, "A varning is good to others, but we have dealt vith these cultists before and are here to kill their leader."

"Yes, but I should accompany you. I know these desserts well."

"That is helpful, then. we could use a guide." The blond saunters behind Thora and next to William, and the three continue into the Sundered Canyon.

* * *

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance my lady, I am William, and I too know this area well. I used to be a student in the Yshari Sanctum." Somewhat smugly the wizard states.

"The pleasure is mine, William. I am Eirena. But you said you _used_ to be in the Yshari Sanctum? You weren't kicked out from there, weren't you?" Eirena inquires, quite curious of this "Yshari Sanctum".

Drumming up what pride he could muster, William says, "Er, well, they couldn't contain my vast skill and intellect!"

"Villiam is too modest to say he vas escorted out due to "certain circumstances", so he is now a vandering vizard." A big grin creeps across Thora's face as she looks back at William, watching his confidence shrink along with his ego.

William was certainly stunned that his companion overheard his eviction from the sanctum without him even telling her! "How in all that is holy did you know that, Thora? You were nowhere to be had at that time."

"Vell Villiam, I vas in Caldeum a lot longer than you think. Could barely see, but heard voices saying vhat happened. And you vere also so loud I'm sure even the emperor heard."

Giggling at these two, Eirena begins to think. _"The prophet said there were two I would follow in my quest... But it couldn't be them, no? They seem too, strange to be a brave pair of heroes..."_ She becomes apart from her thoughts once spotting a lacuni's shadow. "William, behind you!"

The wizard turns just as a lacuni latches onto him. It swipes William's wand away, forcing him to bring up his shield to block. Thora then punts the beast with a hammer swipe, and it screeches for a quick second before a sharp rock impales it.

"You seem unfocused today, Villiam. Distracted by something?" Thora said.

"Oh, I'll show you." William hit the barbarian with a sharp gaze, grabbing his wand and adjusting his coat. Just when a horde of lacuni appeared, he conjured an energy twister! It sucked in the lacuni, and soon spat them out; into the canyon walls, onto rocks, and one even hitting Thora – which didn't phase her.

Suddenly, rocks started to fall and any remaining lacuni retreated. "The canyon is collapsing! Let us hurry!" Eirena said. Her and William were right behind Thora as they ran from the canyon. They kept running until-

BAM! Thora accidentally ran into a wall. She fell, and Eirena, who was unfortunately right behind her, was nearly crushed.

"Help me help me help me!" The small voice gasps from under Thora. The barbarian brings herself to stand while William helps Eirena up,

"I apologize for my companion, Eirena. She isn't exactly the thinker of this co – YOW!" The wizard is given a good smack upside the head by Thora.

Eirena giggles at this. "Is this how you two always are towards each other? It is quite humorous with 'ze slapping and 'ze arguing and such. To me, at least." William opened his mouth to speak when the blond took a suddenly serious tone, "Wait! The cultists are nearby." But none were around.

And that's when they popped up from the ground. Magically, of course. Many had surrounded the three, but with combined efforts of magic and brutality, they manage to defeat the cultists and their demons!

"How could you foretell the ambush?" Thora asks after uppercutting the last cultist.

"Well, I am an enchantress. The ways of magic and illusion are familiar to me. Like this..." With a simple swish and flick of the staff, the enchantress destroys the illusionary rock wall and reveals a road! "Now, let us go to the Howling Plateau. The cultists are casting illusions there to make the Black Canyon Bridge impassable."

* * *

Once at the Howling Plateau, Eirena shows William and Thora a spell that traces the cultists footsteps! This enabled the three to locate the cultists' hideouts, disrupt their rituals and dispel the illusion at Black Canyon Bridge.

At the bridge, the enchantress had begun to tell the two her true tale. "I lived long ago, fifteen-hundred years to be precise. I was trained along with my sisters by a man we called The Prophet. I was put into a deep sleep and awoke in this age, and I am to stop the lords of hell from invading!"

"Well, we do have a common goal, and it would be good to have another mage along. Of course you can help us in our quest." It did not take long for William to decide that.

"Thank you! I will be at camp whilst you need me." Enchantress said.

After she disappeared, Thora let out a hardy laugh, "Ha! Villiam, I do hope your big brain does not become as useless as your little legs vhenever Eirena's around!"

The wizard took slight offense at this, but soon could not help laughing along with her. "You enjoy making me seem a fool, don't you? Fine, I admit I was a bit in the clouds today, but I believe she did start to give in towards the end. And my legs are perfectly normal size, thank you."

After sharing a good laugh, the two make way across the bridge.

"Come. Ve still hunt Maghda, that bi-"

"You mean that witch?"

"Yes Villiam, that vitch."

* * *

I could have put in a lot more, mainly in the last few paragraphs, but I decided it's good enough. And yes, I will put Lyndon and Kormac in chapters of their own sometime, but don't expect them to be right after this one. I actually have a good thought on what the next chapter will be, so be sure to stay tuned!


	4. Chapter 4: Battles in the Cold

I am dearly sorry for another long delay. I hoped to finish it sooner, but between work and a different story popping up in my head that dream wasn't fulfilled. Anyway, a thank you to all who have reviewed so far! It makes me glad people actually like me and my brother's story and two heroes! So after the delay, enjoy this chapter!

Battles in the Cold

* * *

William and Thora were fighting atop the Skycrown Battlements against a horde of demons that had surrounded. They continued to come, from the skies and over the fort wall. Thora was leaping on demons and slicing them with her battleaxe while William sprayed down shock pulses and occasionally impaled an enemy with his spear.

After what seemed like hours battling, the demons stopped coming, along with the two's massacre. Dozens of dead bodies both small and large lay around them!

"That vas a vell fought battle! Villiam?" Thora said, looking at her companion. He was examining his hat for blood and other demon muck.

"More like a massacre... Much more blood and battle here than the book ever described, yet I don't mind. Quite frankly I'm beginning to enjoy the thrill of battle." He replied. Thora smiled at this and pet the wizard's head, ruffling his raven black hair.

"Good boy."

A solider had appeared at that point, and he looked utterly astonished. "Did, did you two kill all these demons, all by yourselves?"

"Yes, ve did." Said the barbarian. The solider uttered a small sound before passing out cold.

"Either he passed out in sheer amazement, or just by blood loss." The wizard said.

Thora stopped petting William and walked up to the side of the battlements. She eyed the battlefield below, grinning fiercely.

Straightening his hair and placing his hat back, William hurried over beside Thora, "Wait, surely you're not thinking of leaping down there are you? We still need to-" He stopped when the barbarian went nose-to-nose with him.

"For Frodo." She then sprang into the battle -quite literally- that bellowed throughout the fields. "HYAAA!"

"WHO'S FRODO!? Guh, that blasted woman!" William sighed. He never understood his friend's fascination for leaping into danger or the unknown, yet decided to follow her right away. Last time she did this, William waited for awhile, then teleported to her at the, well, wrong time and nearly caught a beating. Surely that wouldn't happen again, but the wizard had become ever-so-paranoid since that encounter.

* * *

In the fields near the fort, Thora had landed on the head of a siegebreaker assault beast! It flailed it's arms wildly trying to get her off, and as a result took out both demons and men. Thora pulled out a spear-tipped chain from her belt and stomped the tip into the beast's neck.

William arrived in time to see a solider being slapped into the air by the siegebreaker, flying out of sight. Once spotting Thora riding the beast, her mad laughter ringing clear, William couldn't help but smile, "Ah, that woman never ceases to amaze me... And terrify me."

As it clears out the rest of a demon horde -with some men added in- Thora begins to take down this wicked beast. Chain in hand, she wraps it around the siegebreaker's neck and leaps to a spire rock. She tightly wraps the other end around it's base and makes way to the nearest cliff.

"Come here, foul beast! Come take a bite outta momma!" Thora taunted. The beast lets out an enraged howl before charging. Looking down, Thora leaps off the cliff and onto lower ground. William looks in astonishment as the beast follows Thora off, ultimately ending it's life with a snap of the neck.

"Oh... Would you look at that! The clumsy oaf hung itself! By god, that has to be the stupidest creature I've ever seen." The wizard teleported to Thora. "Well! That had to be the most insane act of purely flawless kills of a beast that size. Lacuni see lacuni do I suppose... You're lucky that chain held."

Looking up at the beast, Thora says, "You just have to go vith it, yah? Jump, pray your line is good, if not you'll die fighting... Vell, not us, because ve are UNSTOPPABLE! Hahaha!"

* * *

Much, much later...

William and Thora were trekking through an abandoned – and cold!- barrack. Thora gazed over her shoulder at William, who didn't seem to be affected by the temperature. "You are bearing the cold vell. That is surprising!"

"Of course. A mere chill won't take me down!" The wizard replied, trying to keep the noise of his chattering teeth low. He wasn't much in the mood or climate for Thora to snap back telling him to grow a pair. The barbarian only nods and turns back around.

CRAASH! A wall bursts open as a demonic tremor crawls forth with a legion of fallen beside it.

"Finally, foes worth killing!" William and Thora said simultaneously. They glanced at each other in shock of their shared words before drawing weapons. Like always, Thora charged into battle-again, quite literally-while William kept his distance and attacked with spells.

The barbarian tackled a fallen shaman to the ground, threw her battleaxe around it's neck, and repeatedly bashed her head against it's. The force, plus the hard armor of Thora's helmet, crushed the shaman's skull within a few seconds.

Most of the grunts were mortified. "Forget this creature, let's get at the shorter one!" Is what they most likely mused as they screamed and ran at William.

The wizard grinned, "I presume you'd like to experience a more, 'shocking' aspect of battle, hm?" He formed an electric orb, and with his magic spear he bounces it off the ground and back, each bounce discharging at the grunts. He kept bouncing it even after the grunts were finished with. "Never had it been so fun watching these imps burst into pieces! Heh heh heh!" He chuckles in satisfaction. He then bounces the orb up into the air, and rears up with his spear. He hits it hard, and it travels right where he wanted.

"Thora, look out!"

Thora rolled away before the orb hit and combusted in a storm of light and electricity. After an opera of shaky screams the light faded and nothing remained. The barbarian walked up to William.

"I could have killed them." She said.

"Oh, I'm sure. I merely wanted to show that I don't just scrounge around all day waiting for the leftovers!" Replied the wizard. He looked towards the gap in the wall, where it seem more fallen appeared. But most only poked their heads out to gawk at the two. Maybe they had heard their brethren shriek in terror?

After a moment of staring, a lone fallen 'lunatic' had waddled over to William and Thora. The companions shared another glance, this time with a devious gleam in their eyes. William bent down and held down the lunatic with an index finger while Thora reared up for a kick.

Then she kicked, punting the lunatic across the room. It exploded near the other fallen, somewhat harming them but at most making them run.

"Ha ha! Flee, then! Ve vill find you and squish you all like bugs!" Thora roared as they fled. William looked up at Thora and smiled,

"Well love, we shouldn't waste any time hunting them down now should we?"

The barbarian nodded, "Yes. Let us see who finds them first!" Laughing, she sprints into a hallway and out of William's sight. The wizard's affection fades at that moment.

"Huff, here we go again!"

* * *

Well, that was chapter four! Kind of simple, but I hope you liked the little lines-especially the Frodo one- and the way some actions were described. If you thought that scene with the Siegebreaker Assault Beast was unrealistic or exaggerated, hey! A lot of things are humorous when exaggerated, especially when Thora's involved! :P

I hope for chapter five to come sooner, but I won't promise you anything yet. So, erm, check in occasionally, I suppose? But before that, I might try and get this other story I have thought onto paper (Or computer screen). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5: A Night to Remember

I know it's been a month since I last updated, so here's a special (And long) Halloween chapter! It doesn't follow any storyline, but takes place in the Act I areas. Just think of it between Diablo's defeat and the Reaper of Souls quests. It was a lot of fun making this, and you'll probably find it funnier than previous chapters. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 5: A Night to Remember (Halloween Special)

The gates of New Tristram swung open as Thora entered the town. She looked around, searching for the stand out black and silver attire of her friend William. Failing to spot him, Thora walks up to a merchant and says,

"I've lost my idiot, have you seen him? Pointy black hat, black hair, name's Villiam..."

"Oh yeah, you mean that wizard? In the Slaughtered Calf Inn I think." The short, stubby man answers. Thora nods and heads further into town.

* * *

Meanwhile, Haedrig was at his anvil repairing Kormac's spear. He felt something... Fuzzy rub against him. Looking down he spots a black cat, and scowls. He's heard those superstitions, but never believed them, so he continued to work. But after one hit with his hammer, both the spear and hammer broke. Haedrig suddenly tripped, his face slamming against his anvil.

The cat sneered and ran off into the Inn. It sprang onto someones lap, who just happened to be Eirena. The Enchantress seemed fascinated with this feline, stopping her talk with William to caress and pet it.

"Yes, that is a black cat. Some say they bring good luck to witches and wizards, and bad luck to nearly anyone else, or so I'm told..." William said.

"Oh, how intriguing! I've only caught mere glimpses of them even back in my time. I had not a clue they were so soft, fuzzy and cuutte!" Replies Eirena, earning a small chuckle from the wizard.

Thora walks into the Inn. Spotting William sitting at a table with Enchantress, the barbarian walks up to them. Grasping William on the shoulder with a firm hand makes the wizard jump in surprise, or in pain rather.

"Villiam my vee friend! How the hell are ya?! I haven't seen you in days, how'd ya make it here so fast? Last time you actually did run faster than me vas in Caldeum I believe, yah that's right, because Eirena vas our guide and you kept looking at her like a rabid volf yah?" Thora laughs heartily to her own amusement of William. Searching for a retort William shrugs and says,

"Well what can I say. I just... Felt like running." He gives Eirena a quick wink, the woman blushing in return. William looks back to Thora, "Now, what say you to a pint so we may discuss the evening festivities my friend?" He offers and motions toward an open chair.

"I say yes my short fair-weathered friend." Thora chuckles as she takes off her pack and sits with the pair. As she watches the bar maid bring her drink, the barbarian notices something different about the townsfolk. The fact that they all seemed to be dressed up in an odd fashion that they really wouldn't be; kings, queens, warriors. Some even looked like demons and ghosts! Thora leans towards William, "Vhat are all the townsfolk doing? Vhy are they dressed in such a way?"

"Though it's rather odd to me too, it seems as though the townsfolk are celebrating the annual holiday of Halloween. An all-day spectacle of horror and scares surely to make you shiver... Or so I'm told." William said.

"I can't really imagine vhy they vould vant to celebrate such carnage and death after living it for so long already... But they seem happy."

"Halloween is a true night of power for those adept with magic." A mysterious woman in purple walks up to the trio, her armor plated high heel boots clicking across the old floor. She had a mask that was shaped like a bird's face, and a coat much like William's except dyed with purple. The woman sits elegantly next to them.

Slightly stunned at this woman's remark and figure, shooting both Thora and Eirena a quick look William turns to the lady,

"Quite so. Halloween or Samhain if you will, are very sacred holidays for practitioners of the craft, which I assume that you are as skilled as my, er, associate Eirena and I, judging by your looks."

"Oh, I am practiced my friend. I've been traversing these lands for years honing my skills to perfection. I arrived here to enjoy and take part in the Tristram festivities."

"Oh?" Eirena begins, peaked with fascination about this woman. "And what might you be doing here in Tristram? Are you by chance an entertainer?"

"Entertainer?!" William pipes up in interest before feeling a light cuff upside the head by Thora.

"Not that kind idiot boy!"

"Well, one can never tell! How am I to know hmm?" The wizard says, adjusting his hat to proper position.

The mystery woman scoffs and flips her hair to the side, "I can assure you all that I am no dancing harlot girl! I for one am a lady."

"You sure you don't have a sister Villiam?" Thora quietly asks. William simply shrugs.

Eirena casually sipped her drink as she noticed something strange about the man sitting at a dark corner of the bar, something she has noticed all evening. This man was staring at the group all while intently smoking his pipe.

Seeing the purple-clad woman was somewhat annoyed by Thora and William's bickering that had started moments ago, Enchantress thought to ask her if she too noticed the man in the corner.

"Pardon me, but I have something to ask you if you have a moment?" Eirena engaged the witch. Smiling the woman leans in toward Eirena,

"Ask away darling, anything is better than their drabble."

"You see that man over there in the darker part of the tavern?"

"Yes, I've noticed him as well." Somewhat giggling the witch begins. "He's one of those Demon Hunter fellows, like a ranger but worse. They have an extreme hatred for those nasty demons. But he has the most pure hatred of all. He's a legend among men." She glances at the man as if thinking a fond thought.

Eirena looks at the man and notices a halo of smoke hanging around his head. "Oh? So it must be means of luck that we see him tonight! Intriguing."

"Luck perhaps, or maybe he is following someone." As she says that the hunter walks towards the group. This quiets William and Thora.

The air grew colder, and lights began to dim, as the man sits at a lone chair. He takes a drag from his pipe. As he blows the smoke out the tavern door flies open and the lanterns and candles blow out, causing the townsfolk to shrill in terror. The screams fall silent when a cold voices says,

"Happy Halloween! Muahaha! Haa!"

Light slowly re-illuminates the room, revealing many patrons hiding under tables and hugging one another. Not only was the patrons' utter terror revealed, but so was the hooded mystery man.

He had a mane of black hair with a golden crown atop his head, rather charming really. He had holsters which many small crossbows were held, two quivers on each hip, knives attached to his spike encrusted boots, and a larger crossbow slung to his back with an additional quiver. You could tell why this man was such the legend.

Drying his eyes from laughter, watching all resume their business, he speaks to the witch,

"Why hello Gene my dear, how are we today? Long time no see."

"Hello Snoo Ginz, I've been fine as of late. I was just acquainting myself with these fine people. Eirena, the blond girl on the right, William the esteemed wizard, Thora the... Well Thora to be short." Gene said.

"Cheers! Pleasure to meet you all. Thora." Snoo Ginz takes Thora's hand, kissing it, "Charmed." Then firmly shaking William's hand, "Nice to meet ya chum."

"Likewise." The wizard says.

The hunter turns to Eirena. "And Eirena," He pulls out a blue rose from his sleeve, "For you my dear, a rare flower for a rare beauty." Handing her the flower.

"Oh, why thank you Snoo Ginz." Eirena sniffs the rose.

Steamed, William loudly interrupts, "SO Gene my lady, you wouldn't happen to be the great witch Gene Vieve would you? Rumor be told that her skills in magic make her one of the greatest of all time."

"Those rumors must be true then, yes I am Gene Vieve the great witch of Sanctuary. But the way I hear is that I'm the single greatest user of magic ever." Smugly Gene replies.

"Well then the people from which those stories came must have never heard of muah." William calmly states, gesturing to himself with a flourish of the hands.

Gene raises her eyebrows. "Well well well... It is about goddamn time I've met someone as bold as I in admitting their skill in magic. Seems that it is fate that drew our paths together. Not even my tarot could've foreseen this." She smiles.

"Now that we are all acquainted, let's fancy ourselves a drink and have us a jolly good Halloween." Snoo Ginz drops a large sack of gold on the table. "Drinks on me."

"I'll drink to that!" Thora exclaims.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"Here's your spear, Kormac. Broke in two earlier but I managed to repair it." Haedrig said, handing Kormac his spear. The blacksmith's head still throbbed from it slamming onto the anvil, and there was now a big bump on his forehead.

The Templar took his spear. "Glorious! This is a fine spear."

"All in a day's work." Haedrig then walked off, grumbling something about 'kicking a cat for giving him a headache' and holding the bump on his head. Kormac thought to question why the blacksmith seemed sour. Then again, he's often a grump...

Suddenly, a spider hung in front of Kormac! He screamed like a little girl that had seen Diablo himself, dropping his spear and tripping over himself to get away. He bumped into Lyndon, who was laughing.

"Ha ha, HA HAHA! Oh, that was priceless. Truly priceless! I think you may have woke the dead with that scream, Kormac."

"Scoundrel! Was that necessary? Out of all the creatures in this land, it had to be a spider?" The Templar glared, but one could tell he was still shaken up.

Lyndon smirked, looking at his contraption; a stick with a small rope tied at the end, which also hung a fake spider made of twigs, cotton and other junk. "Of course it was necessary! Someone had to scare the oh-so FEARLESS holy warrior out of is boots sooner or later. Besides, what's Halloween without a little trickery?"

"Quite, but god's sake man spiders?" Kormac says, trying to rebuild his ego. "I'll get you back Lyndon, I promise you this."

"If you say so." Mockingly Lyndon replies, clearly not taking him seriously.

"It's true! I'll prove it." Now walking with Lyndon through town, which is now in full uproar with Halloween spirit as dusk set in. They came across a game that the locals have set up. "I'll prove it here."

"Here? Of all games?" Chuckling slightly before devilishly grinning. "You're on my friend." They both make way into the crowd surrounding the event.

* * *

William leads the group out of the tavern, commenting on the locals;

"Isn't it remarkable how they quickly celebrate a holiday worshiping death so merrily after experiencing it for so long?" Stopping to hold the door as the group flies out.

"Relax my dwarven friend, this holiday is merely about sweets and having a good time to them." Thora said.

"For yet another time Thora, I am not a dwarf! I'm just a slightly shorter stature than some men." William barks back.

"That remains to be seen little man, till then I won't disagree that you are a dwarf." Though Thora was patting the wizard on the back, it felt more like a slap.

William, Thora, Eirena, Gene Vieve and Snoo Ginz were walking through town, glancing at the costumed kids running around and older folks participating in various games set up.

A warrior was turning away from his throw at the pumpkin chucking camp. He walked into Thora, spilling his mug of ale all over him.

"Stupid woman! Watch where you're steppin'!" The warrior growled at Thora, earning a glare from the barbarian. William and Gene exchanged glances, grinning.

"Oh no, did he?"

"He did."

"I beat the mighty warrior Kormac at this pumpkin chucking contest, so I'm sure I could beat a woman like you!" The burly man announces, nodding his head at the area with pumpkins piled onto a wagon, and where Kormac and Lyndon were exiting from.

Templar was about to protest his defeat when Scoundrel stopped him.

"Stop and watch this, it might get exciting!" He said. The two plus the others watched as Thora and the warrior entered the contest. "Hmm, want to reverse your luck tonight?"

"What's your action, Scoundrel?"

"Five-to-one Thora out-throws him."

Kormac nods, smiling, "Five-hundred gold on the warrior whom bested me."

"Five-hundred on Thora." Scoundrel said. That's when Snoo Ginz walked up to take part.

"I'll take that bet! Five-hundred on the curvy redhead. Oh, and the name's Snoo. Snoo Ginz."

Lyndon was taken aback by the hunter's name, but accepted his offer. "You're on."

Everyone watched as the warrior took a pumpkin, soon heaving it about thirty yards away. "Reckon you could beat that, lass? Don't want you breaking a nail." He laughs.

"I reckon I can." Thora says. Grasping her pumpkin, she drops back three steps. She then heaves the pumpkin, her throw great enough to land her pumpkin twenty yards father than the warriors. Fifty yards in all.

"Impressive. Reckon you could kill a man at that distance sweetheart?" Asked the warrior, respecting that this 'stupid' woman could actually throw.

"Ha! I could kill you vithout even lifting a hand."

The warrior walked over to where Thora's pumpkin lay, half broken with it's insides spilling out from the impact. "Oh yeah? Prove it lass!"

"Okay, you asked for it." The barbarian said, crossing her arms. At that exact moment, a potato flies over her right shoulder, hitting the warrior's face and creaming itself all over him. He just stood idle as the crowd around Thora roared.

"Excellent display young Thora." A gentleman in the crowd raises his mug to her. So does a towns woman,

"Yeah. Finally shut his ramblin' up, that bloody bastard!"

Scoundrel and Snoo Ginz celebrate together as Kormac sulks. Snoo Ginz trots up to him, and in a merry way says, "Fifteen-hundred little man, put that shit in my hand!" Reluctantly the Templar hands the two their winnings.

"Well my friend, it seems as though luck is not in your favor today!" Lyndon smirks, counting his spoils. Him and Kormac soon go to join the rest of the group.

Yet Snoo Ginz stays behind. He plans on tormenting the warrior more. Heisting himself a sweet treat from a vendor, he takes a bite and walks over to the humiliated man. "Trick or treat muscle head." A low, nigh abnormal growl erupts from the hunter, his eyes blaze red. He then takes a suddenly happy turn, "Snoochie boochies! Hehehe!" He kisses the man on the cheek then slaps the top of his head. Happily munching on his candy he catches up to the others.

* * *

It was now night, and the full moon was just visible over the houses and trees of New Tristram. William was buying everyone each a mug of strong cider, handing them out as the group laughed about the humiliation of the local 'warrior'. Soon left with only his mug, the wizard goes and stands beside Eirena.

"You couldn't have timed that any better Villiam, though I didn't expect a potato!" Thora laughs heartily before taking a drink.

"Well, given the thought, a tomato wouldn't quite pass the message. A potato however, now that's just the perfect weapon... And the perfect food." William smiles quickly before concentrating on his drink. Before anyone could ask about a possible potato fascination, the town mayor comes running up,

"Nephalem help! Oh, help!"

"Yes?" Gene, Snoo Ginz, William and Thora say at once, giving each other a quick glance.

"Some farmers in the fields just came to me saying they saw lights and heard strange music coming from the cemetery of the forsaken. One even claimed to see... H-he saw... S-saw..."

"OUT VITH IT MAN!" Thora burst out causing the mayor to flinch. Finally building the voice, he whispers,

"Z-zombies..."

Gene stands up from her place on a bench. "Fear no more, mayor. We will rid you of these zombies." She assures the trembling man.

"Oh, t-t-thank you!"

"I'm up for killing some zombies! If I get a reward, of course." Lyndon stands as well.

"I will as well. I wonder how more powerful my magic shall be tonight!" Eirena nods. Soon everyone agrees to investigate, and set off through the gates to the Weeping Hollow.

* * *

The group of seven spot and hear nothing as they follow the road through the Weeping Hollow. You know, nothing but the occasional crow or cat. When they get to the Cemetery of the Forsaken, though, they start hearing something strange. Music. But... No one was there! The most strange was when a voice started to... Sing?

" _It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark..."_

That's when they stop, and so does the music.

"Did you hear that? It sounded like singing, with odd music I've never heard before."Kormac said.

"I heard it too." Thora replied. The others replied with a simple 'Yeah' or 'Me too'.

"Well, it seems to have stopped. Maybe we should continue walking." Stated Enchantress, and they continue what they were doing. But yet, the song started playing again, and getting louder.

The group halt again, but this time the music is still playing. They certainly freeze when they see arms and hands popping out of the dozens of graves around them.

" _Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart..."_

Zombies were crawling out their graves! The group huddled together, back-to-back, preparing for battle.

" _You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it."_

Then, a more stand-out zombie appeared. It had a tattered red and black jacket with red pants. It also had black hair, and a brownish skin. The music was at it's loudest, and suddenly the zombies start... Dancing?

"Wait, they're dancing?! Tell me that isn't just me!" Scoundrel exclaimed, quite confused at this.

"It isn't just you, and I don't think it's the cider we drank..." Gene said, starting to feel an overwhelming urge to... Dance along with the zombies.

" _You start to freeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes. You're paralyzed."_

Soon that urge was felt in everybody. And then, they danced, not aware that the zombies started to surround them.

" _'Cause this is thriller! Thriller night! And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike. You know it's thriller, thriller night! You're fighting for your life inside a, killer, thriller, toniiight!"_

After a good minute or so, the group stopped dancing - all except Snoo Ginz- and start to realized they've been surrounded. "Thriller! Thriller night, dun dun hm hum dundun dun... Wait, why did we-" Snoo Ginz finally saw the situation "Oh." He pulled out his hand crossbows. Everyone unsheathed their weapons, and the battle started.

* * *

Gene Vieve started off by slicing a few zombies with spectral blades. She then summoned an arcane hydra that shot purple-silver orbs at the zombies.

"Ha! So you know that spell too?" William commented, rising up his own lightning hydra.

"Of course! But do you know this one?" The witch engulfs herself with purple flames, turning her skin a glowing purple. She fires energy beams and releases overpowering energy blasts, cleaning out hordes of undead! William shot her a competitive glare, thinking of a way to best the great witch.

Meanwhile, Snoo Ginz and Scoundrel are also competing, mostly on who could fire the most arrows. Snoo Ginz wins that by a longshot with his rapid fire crossbows. Then there was Thora, Eirena and Kormac, who were facing the brown zombie.

The zombie was creeping towards Kormac, and no matter how many times the Templar stabbed the zombie with his spear it wouldn't stop. Even when Thora slammed it into the ground like a hammer to a nail many times, it kept crawling up!

Eirena thought for a moment. She gathered all the power she could muster, focusing on wiping out a good number of zombies. What she didn't expect was that she would release a big blast of energy that kicked her back yards away by it's power. But all in all it killed the rest of the zombies and what seemed to be their leader.

Kormac smiled, relishing his first victory tonight, "A glorious victory! A little bit strange, as well." Everyone agreed.

"Yes, truly." Mutters William, who was now helping Eirena up. "You alright dear? Your, hair is a little astray. You used a lot of energy back there."

The Enchantress grinned. "Eeeeeeee..." She fell down again.

" _It was either that spell, or she bumped her head on a tombstone..."_ William thought. He picked Eirena up, walked over to Thora, and put Eirena into the barbarian's treasure pack. "She'll be fine in here. Comfortable place, if I do say so myself!"

* * *

After discussing what in the burning hells had just happened and why that brown zombie and music seemed so foreign – as if it came from a different time – the group travel back to Tristram. They met the mayor, who only thanked them greatly with no added rewards, much to Lyndon's disappointment.

The rest of the night the group scattered about and did various things, from the games to pranking the occasional passerby. Eirena also awoke from her daze during that time. Everyone passed out eventually, whether it be on a bed or in a hay bale. Halloween also passed by, and wouldn't be celebrated again for a full year. But, one thing is for sure; it was truly a night to remember.

* * *

That was the extremely long Halloween special! I wanted to put Tyreal and Covetous Shen in here somehow and put in more time with Haedrig, but I decided it was good enough. Next chapter, perhaps. I also feel bad for Kormac. :(

But anyway, did you like Gene Vieve (Gee-Nee Vee-Vee is how I pronounce it :P) and Snoo Ginz? They won't join William and Thora, but they might make an appearance every now and then.

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate! Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pause for a Twix. HA HA.


End file.
